Archive for March, 2010

I spent all week carefully recycling all my garbage. This morning I heard the recycle truck banging outside and realized I’d forgotten to put the bin out on the curb.

“Oh crap, it’s Friday!”

I threw on a jogging suit. I didn’t fix my hair, put on a bra or wear a coat. I didn’t have time for that!  No problem though, right folks? I mean after all, I’m just wheeling my bin to the curb. Who is going to see me?

I ran downstairs and frantically looked for my boots in the closet. I couldn’t find them. “Where are my boots?” I grumbled. I found a pair but they were too small and as I attempted to remove them from my feet I fell and landed dead on the corner of a wall bruising my shoulder and arm.

“Damn it! “ Pain surged through my extremities and I screamed and cursed like a banshee from hell. I bruised myself really badly.

“Suck it up, Marya, suck up the agony,” I moaned. I didn’t have time to cry with the recycle truck only three houses away. Finally, I found a pair of boots that fit.

I opened the front door and ran outside. I placed the bin on the curb and then watched in disbelief as the recycle truck drove right past it.

“WTF? Hey mister, you didn’t empty my recycling,” I yelled.

No answer.

“Hey, you didn’t empty my recycling,” I shrieked again.


In desperation, I grabbed my recycle bin and wheeled it down the street behind me. It flopped all over the place as I furiously hobble speed-ran through the snow like an imbecile after the truck. “Hey you, stoppppppp!” I screamed wildly.

The garbage man stood beside his truck emptying a bin when I approached him. Startled, his eyes grew as big as saucers and he glared at me in horror. I looked hideous. My hair madly tossed all over my head, I looked like Medusa or Swamp Thing or something ready to take a bite out of him.

“You didn’t empty my recycling,” I barked.

“Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” he apologized. “You didn’t have to wheel the bin all the way down here though I could have just backed up the truck.”

“Gee thanks!” I groaned.

He emptied my bin.

Feeling rather embarrassed, I turned and limped back toward my cave rolling the empty bin behind me.