Mr. Truthful

Posted: July 19, 2010 by Marya in Marya's thoughts
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Everyone is perfect on the internet, aren’t they? Never a hair out of place, watching their P’s and Q`s, and they never, ever have any faults. Can you imagine if people were honest, if there was no such thing as hiding skeletons in the closet or telling half-truths? People’s pages would read something like this:

I’m short tempered, moody, and most of the time drink too much alcohol. I fart in bed, drool on my pillow at night, and have a liquid snore that makes the sound of a thousand drowning porpoises tame in comparison.

My armpits smell ripe, and because I eat raw garlic on a daily basis my family nicknamed me, “Dragon Breath”. Sometimes I pick my feet and eat the skin.

I can’t cook and I’m a terrible house cleaner. This won’t be a problem; after all, you should be good at domestic chores. Fetch me a beer and sandwich, will ya?

I’m currently between jobs and live with my elderly parents, but changing their diapers at night will be no trouble for you at all.

I’m looking for somebody who’ll give me a lot of sex. I don’t really care what you look like; at this point I’ll take anything with a pulse.

Oh, and I hope you won’t mind, but I’m on the computer far too much, so we won’t be able to spend a lot of time together. I’m not really into the whole “relationship” thing.

If this sounds good to you, drop me an email.

Sincerely, Mr. Truthful.

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