Archive for July 20, 2010

                                                                            
A woman named Emma Everleigh-Anderton, a company director in the UK, dropped from a size eighteen to a size eight after being convinced her stomach had shrunk to the size of a golf ball. Hypnotist Russell Hemmings used a combination of cognitive behavioural therapy and hypnotherapy to ‘reprogramme’ her mind into thinking she had a gastric band operation. They call it hypno-diet therapy.
I didn’t realize the human brain is so dim-witted and spongy. Why am I only finding out about this incredible brainwashing breakthrough now?
Imagine having surgery without actually having surgery? Instead of killing yourself dieting you could just automatically lose weight with no effort or health risk at all.
Thoughts and words really are things.
If I wanted a raise at work, my kid`s to clean the house or people to wait on me hand and foot, I’d just place suggestive information into their big luggin’ nuts to get what I want. I’d have the world at my fingertips.
Imagine the fun I could of had sending my ex-boyfriend into a large pharmacy store announcing to the world that he needs a large supply of tampons for his hot-stinky periods. Ah, yes – the possible memories. Hey, a girl can dream, can’t she? Ha-ha!
With the snap of my fingers I could get you to read my blogs.
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Years ago, one summer
I came upon a little hummingbird,
no bigger than my thumb.
As it fluttered about a flower
in search of sweet nectar,
I stood, frozen in time, and
was mesmerized by its grace.
I’m not sure why,
or what compelled me,
but I ran inside
to get my brother’s BB gun.
As I raced back to my prey,
I did not think
of my actions, or
of consequences, or
regret.
But only of the thought,
“I wonder if I can get it with one shot?”
At that moment, it turned to me
as if to say,
“What a beautiful creature.
so full of life, and
love, and
compassion.
It is a wonderful day to be
alive!”
But I did not listen.
Instead, intent on my mission,
I aimed, and
pulled the trigger.
And in one thoughtless moment,
a tiny lifeless body lay before
me.

I am now thirty- seven years old.
And since that summer of my youth,
A thousand memories and regrets
I have.
And one that haunts me still
is a small one.

If only . . . I had listened with my heart.

A poem I read and wanted to share eh..

It’s a very hard reality to face and yet intrigues so many.
Have you ever wanted to do something scary or dangerous? Skydiving, bungee jumping, white water rafting, ride the largest roller coaster in the world or tell the coast guard you’re going to look at oily birds and they can’t stop you?
Have you ever done anything out of the ordinary or are you too scared you’d pee your knickers?
Some people write down all the things they’d love to do before they die. I wonder how many things actually get crossed off that list before they kiss the dirt hello? Maybe only people who are terminally ill have such records. After all, they are usually the ones experiencing life with a sense of urgency once they find out it’s being cut short.
Do people actually fulfill the things they long for in life? Perhaps procrastination grabs hold of us all with long twisted fingers and fear paralyzes our dreams. I’ve always heard of the expression, “go with the flow.” Unfortunately, only dead fish do that. The live ones swim against the flow. Ha-ha!
Folks, if you died tomorrow what would be your biggest regret?

 

I went to the local Blockbuster video store with a friend to rent a video game a few days ago. We made our selection and then headed toward the cashier to pay for it. Standing in a long lineup isn’t the most fun thing to do in the world but it’s even worse when you have a troublemaker lurking directly ahead of you in line.

We eventually inched our way closer to the register. The girl behind the counter smiled at the man standing in front of me revealing a mouth full of shiny, metal braces.

Bloody hell! I felt like somebody transported me into an old James Bond movie. Could this be the girlfriend of Jaws? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I’ll tell ya, this girl had ten foot pole marks all over her.

“There’s a three dollar late fee on your last movie,” the girl informed the man.

“Nobody told me about paying any late fees,” he whined. “I’m not paying it.”

“Sir, you have to pay the late fee or you cannot rent another movie. Those are the rules,” she explained.

The man’s face turned flush and he almost bit her head off. “I don’t need to listen to you, you’re a woman.”

My teeth clenched. I swear to gawd, when he said that it took every ounce of restraint within me to prevent myself from knockin’ the shit out of him. I wanted to flee, or curl up inside, I’m not sure which.

Honestly, the foul verbiage and bad attitude coming from this guy could make a preacher cuss. The poor girl didn’t know what to say. She excused herself, came out from behind the counter and then went through a door located at the back of the store.

A few minutes later this huge lady with bulging Fred Flintstone eyeballs comes barreling out from one of the offices as angry as a mule chewing on bumblebees. She introduced herself as the store manager.

“Sir, you have a late fee on your account that must be paid before you can rent any more movies.”

“Nobody told me about any late fees. I’m not paying it,” he repeated nastily.

The poor lady looked like she wanted to string him up by the toenails. “Look, if you don’t pay the fee I will ban you, sir. Not just from this store but from all the Blockbuster stores in Canada.”

Well, then the guy got really vicious and started making derogatory comments about women again. The lady tried to reason with him, but it was like talkin’ to a rock. She picked up the phone and started to dial for the police.

Obviously, this guy had no idea that it’s extremely dangerous to scorn Canadian women.

“For God sakes, I’ll pay the three dollar fee,” another man bellowed from behind me, and slapped three dollars on the counter. “I’ll do anything to get this freakin’ line moving.”

Thank goodness! The dim-wit seemed happy with this arrangement and then finally left the store.

Good riddance to the blockhead!

Tuesday July 20th 2010

Posted: July 20, 2010 by Marya in Quote of the day
Tags: , , , ,

When you feel like there is nothing left for you to look forward to, look into the eyes of a child and the world seems carefree again.