Posts Tagged ‘family’

I lay on my bed soaking my pillow with my tears,
I try to remember exactly what it is that I fear.
Is it the passing of time or the love that I lack?
Is it the mistakes that I’ve made or the fact that I can’t bring the past back?
What is it that I’m afraid of?
Why am I so scared?
Is it the people I’ve hurt or the people that have hurt me?
Am I afraid of everything that I cant seem to see?
Is it the love of a friend, or the loss of my family?
Is it the possibility that my life can end in a tragedy?
What is it that I fear most?
What do my eyes say I’m scared of?
Is it the sun that sets but won’t seem to rise?
Is it the hope that I have that always seems to die?
Is it the trust of a person that I cannot begin to grasp?
Is it all the memories of my horrid past?
Is it me?
Can it possibly be that the thing I fear most is the thing I can’t be?
The things that I try to understand?
The me that I try to be with when I’m feeling sad?
The person I’m expected to be? is that what I fear? . . .
I think the thing I fear most . . .is me 

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A super fit girl I know walked by me today with a purple mat in her hand.   “Hi. What’s that for?” I asked.   “It’s a yoga mat,” she replied. “Do you do yoga?”   I raised my eyebrows. “About as close I get to yoga is yogurt, “I answered sarcastically. “Ummm-ummmm-mmmmm,” I chanted. “Yup, it’s delicious bacteria. It’s how I keep myself in good form and…er, regular.”   Her eyes grew wide then she shrugged her shoulders and walked away.   As you can see, even though I haven’t been around that much my cheeky self is still in tact.  I’ve been relaxing and spending time with my family and Justin this summer. I’m about ready to drive my mother mad in the head crunching popsicles in her ear hole. Other than that everything’s about as great as a barrel full of deep fried monkeys.   What are you up to this summer? Come on, out with it!