Posts Tagged ‘marya’

After a horrible day with everything going wrong I stood in a long line-up at the post office. The room smothered me with a mixture of muggy air and heat.

I slowly plodded toward the counter. The lady in front of me took forever getting her mail together. She reminded me of a little only lady tallying up her pennies at a bank. The girl working at the counter wasn’t any swifter. She worked slower than a two ton snale.

I felt so tired. I endured it though. I’m trying to get things sorted so that I can sell merchandise on E-bay to raise money for my Uncles, Danny’s liver transplant.

Twenty-five minutes later I finally got to the front of the line.

“I’d like to open up a P.O. box please,” I requested.

The girl looked at me and uttered, “what’s a P.O. box?”

I don’t think the look I had on my face could ever be repeated again in the history of all mankind.

“You work in a post office and you don’t know what a post office box is?” I sneered.

“You just put the address that’s on your house,” she suggested.

“That’s not what a P.O. box is,” I snapped. I couldn’t believe it. “Are you kidding me?”

“I can get a manager,” she replied.

I stormed out of the place. I had to get back to work and didn’t have time for this stupid crap. Seriously, do I need to run into all the idiots on the planet?

To say I feel frustrated would be an understatement.

I know what’s going on. I’m stuck in a Men In Black series and all the postal employees are really aliens.

It’s a good thing I don’t have one of those flashing do-hickies. I’d be flashing the shit outta people. Face SLAP – FLASH – You know what a P.O. box is. Have a nice day.

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Riding my bike today some guy almost hit me with his car. Of course, the thickheaded dumb-ass sat there yapping on his cell phone which was outlawed in Canada. He wasn’t even looking at the road.

I started yelling at him and he waved his hand in the air at me as if to say, hey lady, you’re disturbing my call. He didn’t even get off the bloody thing he just continued talking and drove away. The freakin’ nerve! He had no concern in the world for my safety at all. A little slow on the uptake, I’d say.

I could have spit bullets he made me so angry. It got me thinking. I wish I had control of the laws of the land. Remember those foam Nerf bats that came out a few years ago? Well, I’d legalize them.

Yeah, that’s right folks. Any further stupidity from half-wits and they’d get pummeled up side the head. I’d just knock the shit out of them. How many people do you know need a good biff on the head?

I’d turn into the Mega Marya. Hand out Nerf bats to all my Maryamafia  gang members. (That’s you). Yeah, I might even form an Italian accent, get a gold tooth and fix up my Grand Prix.

Nobody would dare come near me and do anything moronic or they’d get whacked. Oh, I’d make it completely humane, though. I’d be like your local animal shelter. Only no kill whackings permitted.

I am so tired of idiots. It’s turning into a epidemic.