Posts Tagged ‘MRI’

I listened to a radio show on my way to work this morning. Every day they do a contest to win merchandise. The topic chosen? 1970’s sitcoms. The station hosts played theme music and a contestant who called in had to guess the matching television program. Of course they didn’t guess correctly and I found myself yelling at the stereo system like a raving lunatic. “WELCOME BACK KOTTER, you freakin’ toe sock smelling idiot.” Did they have a banana bike shoved up their arse blocking out their brain waves? Crap! They missed an easy win. How dare that person not be brainwashed like the rest of us.

It’s been raining like a rhino pissin’ on a flat rock which makes my arm ache. I felt so much pain at work yesterday I almost quit my job. Then I noticed I got a Christmas bonus on my pay stub. That gave me a whole new – higher – pain tollerance. Ha -ha. Luckily, I finally got the phone call I’ve been waiting for today. I’m scheduled for an MRI next Wednesday at 9PM. Murphy defying miracles do happen.

I’m willing to share some life skills with y’all. Think before you do the crass, brainless shite you do. If somebody talks to you, don’t walk away while they are still speaking. I don’t care how rushed you think you are. Don’t be such an ignorant piece of whale skitter. Will it kill you to stop for two seconds and respond instead of making the person yell so you can hear them? I swear, I think most people reach in and get their manners out of a effin’ dunce cap.

I write these blogs to share my feelings with you. After all, it’s cheaper than therapy.   If you love my blogs leave your kudo and John Doe, below.

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I’d really like to know when my box of .25 cent Kraft Dinner turned into $1.75 a box. I mean, come on! Give me a break! It’s not exactly a gourmet food. It’s a handful of macaroni noodles with glow in the dark cheese. Of course, people like me who have been eating it since college will still buy it. Why? It’s not just because we are stupid fart-wads. It’s because we’re addicted to it. It’s like somebody put effin’ cocaine in the cheese.

Jeeze, will my freakin’ arm pain never end? I ended up at the bottom of my bed curled up into a ball. How the hell did I get there? Of course I hurt my arm even worse and my neck feels like a McDonald’s junkie backed over it.

My boss joked about me sleepwalking, but now I’m starting to wonder. I better not wake up outside, naked. Ha-ha! I might have to go to a sleep disorder clinic. Doesn’t that sound exciting? Not. There’s nothing more soothing than being hooked up to a bunch of wires and listening to the attendant talk on the phone all night about what a cushy job he has. Yeah, that should really relax me.

I’m getting a new doctor and I’m going to meet him tomorrow. The poor sucker doesn’t know what he’s in for. My last doctor I had him for years and just got him used to me, damn it. Now I have to start all over again. I need more pain medication and he better give it to me or I might end up hurting somebody. Seriously, the pain is that bad. I didn’t go into work today because I couldn’t handle the throbbing agony. The MRI is next week and they better fix it or I don’t know what I’m going to do.