Posts Tagged ‘pain’

Only the lonely survives strongly, as for I will strongly die. An unexplored life is a life with no experience ~ For exploration has consistently hit me, but experience I have none. A life without love is a life without emotions ~ For love has come and gone but my emotions are stressfully dying.
A rested head and an uncleared mind is taking up the worse in me. It’s so stressing to take up for someone else’s problem. My mind is to the point to where every thought that it encounters drowns in the world around me.
Fiendfully loving, yearning to be loved…Loved to where I know he’s not ~ As in every hurt, every bit of pain that I dont want to endure. I’ve never wanted to hurt ~ For the pain that I give is a pain to forgive, it is a pain to understand. But the pain that I receive, is a pain so unfair. So did I need to hurt…better yet deserve it???
My heart is only so big, with only so much power ~ Don’t hold, don’t touch…Just look and feel the damage that you have done. Intentionally never is the reason but I don’t know is always the answer. Though being not necessary, Was it worth it???
Then if you love me, why dont you hurt??? Why don’t you feel the pain that your love has rationed out. If you know it at mind, then feel it in your heart.
Love me, that’s all I ever needed ~ Loving me right is all I ever wanted.

*Silently Speaking, Secretly Feeling, Discreetly Loving…You’re not here ~ Why??

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Wish I could

Posted: July 7, 2010 by Marya in Poems
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Wish I could hold a dream for you
If I did I know it would help you through
It’s never easy when the heart gets in the way
Wish I could hold you close and take your pain away

Wish I could let your fears subside
Every night when you’re alone and need to cry
It’s not like the damage has to be the end
Wish I could hold you close, my friend

It’s never fair when the world turns upside down
It’s never clear when the heart is in the lost and found

Wish I could hold my breath for you
If I did I know we could find a higher latitude
It’s never easy when the pain and heart are one
Wish I could mend your heart and help you carry on

Wish I could make a dream for you
If I did I know we would be at a different altitude
It’s never easy when the heart feels so betrayed
Wish I could take your pain away

I am

Posted: June 21, 2010 by Marya in Poems
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I am …
A woman
With a full heart, hidden
Somewhere in an empty room …
With eyes not quite of autumn’s gold, and yet
Neither all of summer’s green;
I wonder …
If love is a tale made for children —
A granting of sweet dreams in their innocence —
A honey-coating to help their throats
Choke down the bitter draught …
I hear …
A voice that whispers warnings, half-formed,
Bodiless as hope, until I swear I cannot draw
Another breath unless this spectre be unmasked,
His lies mangled ‘neath my righteous tread;
I see …
A woman, proud, uncompromising,
Diaphanous as air — less, even, than the tears
That fall in desolation about her weary feet,
Salt poison pooled upon the withered ground …
I want …
A measure of quietude, a certain silence,
The echo of alone which heals me of dreaming,
The nothing that stills the wanting,
The numb, the cold that laughs at pain;
I am
A woman,
hidden …

I pretend …
That I can live forever — that Time
Has no puissance but that which I afford Him —
And so, I can wait, I can be happy tomorrow,
Sleep is for the dead; but its ghosts haunt my waking …
I feel …
Too much — too deeply to be directionless,
Too real for imagining, and yet the familiar eyes
Hold nothing of recognition — only my reflection —
A meeting of shadows in sunlit glass;
I touch …
The downy wings of hope, in wonder,
In reverence, in need, in hunger;
Alas, it burns my fingers as a flame,
A sacrilege, self-defined …
I worry …
That I am alone; that in my longing
I have forsaken all — but oh, what reward,
What smile divine should light the path to freedom —
And how can I but heed the siren’s call?
I cry …
For having too much, for fear of bursting,
And then, when by the pouring of my soul
I lie, a vessel emptied, I cry again
For what was had, and lost;
I am
A woman,
empty …

I understand
That life is what you make it,
That sometimes, the coat of many colors
That marks your triumphs brightly, blends only
To loneliest of grey …
I say
That we are made by life, shaped,
Broken, perhaps — unmade and voided —
But always, the core of us remains, waiting
With only faith, with trust, to be reborn;
I dream
Of bluest waters, reaching
With unnatural hands toward the faded sky,
Of dolphins that wander in seas without limits,
Carrying me water-breathing past corals and clouds …
I try …
To lead by example, knowing
That merely the telling holds no power;
A gift of giving is merely a day, while
A gift of knowing spans forever;
I hope …
That my darkness holds you gently,
That pain is halved by sharing, that feeling
Wields nothing past the words it summons,
Except that it touch you with only healing …
I am
A woman,
only.