Posts Tagged ‘Women’

Me Rambling

Posted: July 28, 2010 by Marya in Marya's thoughts
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I’m getting tired of food. If I didn’t have to eat I probubly wouldn’t. When I am alone I get lazy and don’t feel like cooking an entire meal for myself. I grab the most convenient morsels that aren’t exactly slippery sailing for my intestines – iffin’ you know what I mean.

I get so tired of eating easy-breezy crap but I’m too lazy to change. I cook or buy lots of  the same thing  so I have lots to eat for days. It may be frugal but it’s also very BORING!

I’m a great cook but I’m not very domestic when it comes down to whipping up gourmet slop just for myself. I eat to live, not live to eat. If I get hungry I’m only concerned with filling my gut and then I carry on with life.

Ugh! Are any of you like that too? Come on, fess up. Ha-ha!

This is funny

Posted: July 25, 2010 by Marya in Funny Stuff
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My First Condom                                   

                   I recall my first time with a condom, I was 14 or so. I
                   went in to buy a                                       
                   packet of condoms at Levin’s pharmacy.                 

                   There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the    
                   counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She   
                   handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear  
                   one.  I honestly answered,                             
                    ‘No, this is my first time.’                          

                   So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped 
                   it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was
                   on tight and secure.                                   

                   I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all 
                   around                                                 
                   the store to see if it were empty. It was empty. ‘Just 
                   a minute,’ she                                         
                   said, and walked to the door, and locked it..          

                   Taking my hand, she led me into the back room,         
                   unbuttoned                                             
                   her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and    
                   laid it aside.                                         
                   Do these excite you?’ She asked.                       
                   Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod 
                   my head.                                               

                   She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I  
                   was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her 
                   panties and lay down on a desk. ‘Well, come on’, she   
                   said,  ‘We  don’t have much  time..’                   

                   So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that         
                   unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I
                   was done within a few moments.                         

                   She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put   
                   that condom on?’ she asked.                            

                   I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.

                   She then beat the shit out of me…….

Hell have no fury like a woman scorned,when the time is right karma &woman will combine then hell will be unleashed upon those who deceived their.

                                                                            
A woman named Emma Everleigh-Anderton, a company director in the UK, dropped from a size eighteen to a size eight after being convinced her stomach had shrunk to the size of a golf ball. Hypnotist Russell Hemmings used a combination of cognitive behavioural therapy and hypnotherapy to ‘reprogramme’ her mind into thinking she had a gastric band operation. They call it hypno-diet therapy.
I didn’t realize the human brain is so dim-witted and spongy. Why am I only finding out about this incredible brainwashing breakthrough now?
Imagine having surgery without actually having surgery? Instead of killing yourself dieting you could just automatically lose weight with no effort or health risk at all.
Thoughts and words really are things.
If I wanted a raise at work, my kid`s to clean the house or people to wait on me hand and foot, I’d just place suggestive information into their big luggin’ nuts to get what I want. I’d have the world at my fingertips.
Imagine the fun I could of had sending my ex-boyfriend into a large pharmacy store announcing to the world that he needs a large supply of tampons for his hot-stinky periods. Ah, yes – the possible memories. Hey, a girl can dream, can’t she? Ha-ha!
With the snap of my fingers I could get you to read my blogs.

 

I went to the local Blockbuster video store with a friend to rent a video game a few days ago. We made our selection and then headed toward the cashier to pay for it. Standing in a long lineup isn’t the most fun thing to do in the world but it’s even worse when you have a troublemaker lurking directly ahead of you in line.

We eventually inched our way closer to the register. The girl behind the counter smiled at the man standing in front of me revealing a mouth full of shiny, metal braces.

Bloody hell! I felt like somebody transported me into an old James Bond movie. Could this be the girlfriend of Jaws? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I’ll tell ya, this girl had ten foot pole marks all over her.

“There’s a three dollar late fee on your last movie,” the girl informed the man.

“Nobody told me about paying any late fees,” he whined. “I’m not paying it.”

“Sir, you have to pay the late fee or you cannot rent another movie. Those are the rules,” she explained.

The man’s face turned flush and he almost bit her head off. “I don’t need to listen to you, you’re a woman.”

My teeth clenched. I swear to gawd, when he said that it took every ounce of restraint within me to prevent myself from knockin’ the shit out of him. I wanted to flee, or curl up inside, I’m not sure which.

Honestly, the foul verbiage and bad attitude coming from this guy could make a preacher cuss. The poor girl didn’t know what to say. She excused herself, came out from behind the counter and then went through a door located at the back of the store.

A few minutes later this huge lady with bulging Fred Flintstone eyeballs comes barreling out from one of the offices as angry as a mule chewing on bumblebees. She introduced herself as the store manager.

“Sir, you have a late fee on your account that must be paid before you can rent any more movies.”

“Nobody told me about any late fees. I’m not paying it,” he repeated nastily.

The poor lady looked like she wanted to string him up by the toenails. “Look, if you don’t pay the fee I will ban you, sir. Not just from this store but from all the Blockbuster stores in Canada.”

Well, then the guy got really vicious and started making derogatory comments about women again. The lady tried to reason with him, but it was like talkin’ to a rock. She picked up the phone and started to dial for the police.

Obviously, this guy had no idea that it’s extremely dangerous to scorn Canadian women.

“For God sakes, I’ll pay the three dollar fee,” another man bellowed from behind me, and slapped three dollars on the counter. “I’ll do anything to get this freakin’ line moving.”

Thank goodness! The dim-wit seemed happy with this arrangement and then finally left the store.

Good riddance to the blockhead!

Whilst gnawing on a piece of cheese last night I wondered why the human population is so crazy about cow’s milk. I mean, think about it. Everyone is drinking liquid that comes out of a stinky animal with a big slobbery tongue in its gob. It chews its food, barfs it up and then chews it again. It’s pretty gross when you think about it. Why don’t they make cheese out of human breast milk? It sure would be a lot easier to digest than cow enzymes. What about a whole line of human milk products? Can you imagine a bunch of naked women in a barn all lined up and hooked up to electronic milking machines? Oh crap, wait a minute. That’s just one more fantasy for men to drool about. Forget I mentioned it.

I have something else to get off my chest. (The crowd moans). Why are some people so freakin’ mean? I’d really like to know what they get out of it. Do you notice how some people never have a damn good thing to say about anyone? They criticize, lie, blame others and do just about anything to make other people’s lives miserable. I won’t name names. Let’s just call the person I’m talking about, Mr C . This anonymous person needs to be stabbed in the cranium with a fork. Isn’t there an island they can be shipped to? Too bad there’s no such thing as an anti-mean taser gun. Give-um a shot in the arm every time they say something stupid. I bet that would curb some arseholic behavior. You might think I need therapy after reading this but here’s the clincher, folks. You are my therapy. Ha-ha! Yeah, the mind is a dangerous thing, especially at five in the morning.

Ignorant people.. not people who just aren’t smart… this is a huge category.. and for the most part it falls under ego.. if you think you are better than other people.. guess what you probably have problems worse than other people and have to belittle them to make yourself feel better about having a horriable life.. I just laugh at people like you.. and hope you die a miserable death *nod nod*…

Other people I hate.. whores.. there are also many meanings behind this word.. people who think they can use there bodys to get ahead in this world.. you are no better than a 2 dollar hooker on the street corner.. women who only want to date a man in the military.. your just a benifit hungry bitch.. you know what those benifits could cost you your “loved” ones life.. how does that make you feel.. great right.. women who think they are so damn attractive they belittle others.. they have the biggest flaws.. they are the ugliest inside and out.. I belive you should love someone for who they are.. and looks are just icing on the cake if they are there.. if not.. who cares.. love is everlasting.. looks aren’t…

men who cheat.. now this.. yeah I could write FOREVER on.. if you commit yourself to a woman.. and I mean A (singular) woman.. than you are with her.. what are you going to do when you go out screw some tramp and bring home something and give it to your wife.. ever think of that.. so your both going to die of some horrid thing.. and leave your children orphans.. Ohhh and on this subject Women who sleep with married men.. YOU ARE WORTHLESS.. there are vows.. they are sacred… SO BACK OFF.. I will never understand what people get out of that… now if there is a mutual understanding (i.e. swingers) then awsome.. because they BOTH know the risk involved and its something they do to better there relationship.. awsome.. so yeah I am rambling yet again..

ahhh something else I thought of.. people who think drugs make them look cool.. guess what people.. you just look like complete morons who are strung out.. ya know what.. reality is a bigger trip than drugs will ever be.. your just destroying your lives.. but hey.. I am not the one to judge you.. you have to do that yourself..
so yeah I am tired of typing for now.. more to come soon *SMILE*